ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
