I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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