we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
