I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Randomize
