so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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