I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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