he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
