She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
