I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
