Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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