I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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