What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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