Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
