SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is the high leading the old right now
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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