i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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