At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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