Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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