Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
