No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
