We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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