My balls are so social today.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
They are going to name an STD after you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
