Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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