I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize