guys are not supposed to queef...right?
love makes seman taste better
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
