I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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