You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
