The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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