I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
