we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize