My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
