I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
