a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
