We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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