Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
