Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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