So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
