I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize