i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
