Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
