idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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