yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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