In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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