Your tits are I can't wait for
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize