that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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