OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
