Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
then he tried to convert me to islam
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
