hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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