Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
