How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
