he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
