ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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