$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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