Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
