i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
