he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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