good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
