brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
