can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
