Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
