I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
