Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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