Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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