do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
