their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
