addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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