Whod you bang
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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